Phew – Valentine’s Day is over!

“I am so sorry you are without love – have a cake..  You are worth more than that – doors will open now you are single..  Don’t worry – Mr/Ms Right is around the corner..”

Consolation is a strange thing.  Michael Ignatieff’s book, On Consolation, examines the concept of solace and how we might find it in our increasingly secular age.

“The challenge of consolation in our times,” he explains, “is to endure tragedy, even when we cannot hope to find a meaning for it, and to continue living in hope.” 

I listened to his book, over the weekend. A dear friend sent it to me.  I was seeking solace following a series of unfortunate events.  It is a selection of meditations on how creatives over the centuries have sought consolation after pain, loss, death, broken hearts.

Truth is, we have to find consolation within ourselves.  No-one can understand exactly how we feel or which way we process deeply upsetting circumstances.  Paradoxically, this is the significance of being human.  Our singularity.   We may feel like we are all alone and no-one can help us.  Yet there is a force inside that prevents us from giving up. Everyone’s force is different.

Today, 15th February, is SAD.  The anagram is enough to induce a smile:  Singles Awareness Day.  A day to celebrate being single. A consolation prize?

Initiated by a single man who was sick of all the mass consumerism of Valentine’s Day.  Not to mention the feeling of isolation for anyone without a romantic partner that this day creates. Dustin Barnes created Singles Awareness Day 20 years ago for a group of his single friends as a day of laughter, half price chocolates and half price flowers.  Not surprisingly, it has grown to become an annual celebration of single strength, survival and self-awareness.

Whether you have been single for decades or a day; whether bereaved, divorced or perhaps your significant other walked out the day before Valentine’s day without giving a reason – hold on tight.  You are still alive and kicking.  This is the reason to keep on keeping on: Create your life.  Look up.  Move forwards.  Build friendships.  Be kind.  Happy SAD day!

And in the words of my friend and fellow coach, Claire Bjerkan:

Live your life as you see fit; harm no-one and love yourself truly, madly, deeply so that you can love others. Love yourself so that you feel free. Love others so that they feel free.

I have been divorced for 12 years and I learn more about love and friendship every day. I dedicate this post to everyone who knows me.  Especially the kind ones.

Please give me a call if any of this resonates and you are seeking solace.  Please head straight to the shops if you are seeking half-price heart-shaped chocolates.

Kate x